|taken today, 8/12/13|
Do I want to go back to work? Of course not. But you know what? For having to go back to work, I've got a pretty good set-up. First of all, being a teacher, my schedule allows me to be home evenings, weekends, holidays, an entire week over Christmas, and all summer long. So if I have to work, I'm pretty blessed that I'll still be able to have so much time with my baby. Secondly, the people caring for my sweet baby boy are the only people in this world who love our baby as much as we do - the grandparents! My mother is going to keep the baby Monday-Thursday, and on Friday's the baby will go to his other grandmother's house. My mom is only 20 minutes from where I work, and I love that he'll only be a short distance away from me during most days. I have a little bit of anxiety about him being so far away on Fridays (he'll be about an hour away from me), just because he's never been more than 20 minutes away from me, EVER. I'm sure the mommy's out there, young and old, remember what that feels like. But I know he will be in good hands regardless of where he is, so that helps to ease my anxiety. Jesse is going to love growing up and being close to his grandparents. :-)
There is a part of me that is looking forward to being back in the classroom. So much of my identity pre-baby was the "Mrs. Caudill in the classroom." I'm excited to learn a whole new class of kiddos and be their second grade teacher. I just hope that I don't grow resentful that I spend more time per day with my students than my own baby :-( Here's the kicker... I actually have a "Jesse" in my class this year - first time I've ever had a Jesse in my class! I hope he's a good boy... LOL.
Thankfully, my administrators have been absolutely supportive in my wishes to continue breastfeeding and the need to pump throughout the school day. I also recently ordered a TON of prints of Jesse to hang around my classroom, so I'll be able to see his sweet face all day long. I'm reading up on freezer cooking and hoping to have a cooking day sometime between now and the beginning of September to freeze several meals to take a little bit of stress off of my evenings. Is it horrible that I've actually considered hiring a clean lady? :-/ I know I'm just going to want to spend my time in the evenings with my baby, so I'm nervous about everything that is going to need to be done. I'm going to have to make it a point to use my planning time productively at school so I don't have a ton to bring home in the evenings. I know once the week gets rolling and we fall into a routine, things should fall into place *hopefully*.
So, keep me in your prayers as I start back to work this week! Pray for a smooth transition with minimal anxiety. Thank you!
Post cards that I sent to my students in the mail today: